Inner Child Healing: Dealing with Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt are two of the most debilitating emotions we can experience. They can prevent us from living our lives to the fullest and can cause us to feel immense pain and suffering. However, there is hope. One of the most effective ways to release shame and guilt is to heal your inner child.

When we were children, we were innocent and vulnerable. We didn’t know any better, and we made mistakes. But as we grew older, we started to believe that we were supposed to be perfect. We internalized the messages that we received from our families, our friends, and our society, and we came to believe that we were not good enough. This is where shame and guilt come from. They are the result of our belief that we are not good enough. But we can change this belief. We can release the shame and guilt that we feel by healing our inner child.

When we heal our inner child, we are able to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. We realize that we are not perfect and that we never will be. But that’s okay. We can still love and accept ourselves, flaws and all. And when we do, we are able to live our lives with more joy, happiness, and peace.

Here is a practice for self-forgiveness:

Bring your attention to your heart. Breathe in and out, inviting space inside and around your heart. Drop your awareness inward to your heart space and open your heart during this practice. Take your time, soften and relax.

Recall your life and bring to your heart any actions, events, or situations you feel are unforgivable. Be gentle with yourself and choose the problems you feel the capacity to work with at this moment. Keep checking in with yourself and with your heart, honoring your capacity. The intention is to cultivate forgiveness, not to harm yourself by surfacing all past traumas.

Notice where you pushed yourself out of your own heart. Notice where you treated yourself or others unkindly. Notice where you harmed yourself through behaviors like addiction or neglect.

Let yourself be aware of the feeling that something about your life could be unforgivable. Let yourself notice and feel that sensation in your body. Let yourself witness that feeling with so much love, kindness, and awareness.

When you feel the time is right, whisper to yourself, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I see you. Nothing about you is unforgivable. All is forgivable. And all is forgiven.” You may even want to shorten it to just, “Forgiven… Forgiven…”

Let yourself truly be open and vulnerable here so you may receive your own whispers of forgiveness. Take your time, and if you feel you need more space and focus, simply set the intention, “I intend to plant a seed of forgiveness for myself.” 

Bring to your mind any guide or figure whom you trust and with whom you feel safe resting in their arms of compassion and forgiveness. Let their presence be there for you to relax. Let yourself be held in love and compassion.

As you finish this process, remind yourself silently and inwardly to let the feeling of being held reach every cell of your body.